Transcript: Mrs Francis Stephen - letter received from John Edward Davis giving an account of a voyage by the British Antarctic Expedition from 23 November 1841 to 6 April 1842

Mitchell Library, State Library of New South Wales

Mrs Francis Stephen - letter received from John Edward Davis, May 1842
MLMSS 6729

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Recto (complete folio)

[See later pages for transcriptions of the text, including the cross-hatched text]

Ship letter        Prepaid
Given to me, L.A Blaxland by
Mrs Francis Stephen
Adelaide Cottage
Wooloomaloo
Sydney
N.S.W.

Excuse this soiled letter it is
not my doing

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Verso (complete folio)

[See later pages for transcriptions of the text]

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J Davis to Mrs Stephen
HMS Terror
Falkland Islands
May Day 1842

My Dear Mrs Stephen,

I am going to commence relating to you long before I have the opportunity of sending but I shall date it when I do. This enormous sheet almost frightens me but I promised to write you a full, true and particular account of all our proceedings which I am going to do while they are yet fresh in my memory but whether I shall find much time to fill this at present I cannot say but for your amusement I shall endeavour to illustrate it with my pen and ink as I go on and that will lend a hand to fill it besides perhaps giving you a better idea of our situations thus the best written descriptions could but you must deal leniently with me in the way of finding for all mistakes. [word indecipherable] for I hate to read a letter over I am always disgusted with my own performance and ten to one you would never receive it if I did
We have had a most disastrous tho' successful cruize
There you see, I am [words indecipherable] telling you the end of it before I begin but I shall commence and go regularly through be it weal or woe there you will find a little of the ludicrous and a great deal of the serious a regular "Olla Podrice" and I only hope it will be dished up to your liking for I am afraid you have a piquant taste but you must recollect that I am a sailor and no Cook of Literary Composition I am afraid I shall have the greatest difficulty in explaining myself of our account of the technical phrases I must of necessity make use of but I must refer you to some [word indecipherable] or some Glossary for explanation
We sailed from the Bay of Islands on 23rd November last year in company with the Favorite who after running a few miles separated. At parting she gave us 3 cheers and made the Signal "Honor and success attend you all". We started under as promising circumstances as we did last season. All hands being quite well in health and in good spirits. -The Erebus had an accident in the Bay of Islands in the loss of one of her marines who was drowned by the capsizing of a dingy he was a great loss as he was the biggest man in the expedition and one of those jovial characters that by his jokes kept the men continually laughing round him
Well I was very seasick which I fully expected having been with little intermission 6 months in harbour. I am afraid I shall never entirely get over it
On the 24th a man fell overboard from the Erebus and alltho' there was a heavy sea running the boat picked him up, we found up afterwards that he had jumped overboard to escape punishment which he richly deserved, however he got his deserts besides his ducking
I think I hear you exclaim "What a little tyrant" but no, I will not plead guilty to the charge for I fully believe that severity at first is lenity in the end and those ships that punish at first rigorously, in the end have fewer punishments than a ship in which they begin the opposite way. I do not know whether you find the same with children but I should think so but I dare say they would not thank me for expressing my opinion perhaps if I had children myself I should not be able to put my own precept into practice; such is human nature for we know that all parents think their children better than every other persons I dare say my good mama thinks me an angel but she is very much mistaken for my doings have not commenced budding yet. What has all this to do with a voyage to the South Pole
We had two 25ths of November and two Thursdays in the same week owing to our having crossed the 180th degree of longitude of course this makes me a day older tho' not 24 hours however I shall not change my birthday. Captain Ross is going to give us the days pay but I know we'll have it taken away again.
We could not go to Chatham Island as the weather was so thick and foggy and it was blowing hard; we passed within a quarter of a mile of some breakers that be off it called the Sisters. It was fortunate that it was daylight when we passed them for they must be placed considerably out in their longitude for by our reckoning we were well clear of all dangers, had it been night we might have visited Chatham Island in a manner not altogether agreeable. We passed this Island on the 30th. Our object was next to steer as far as 150 degrees W and then proceed to the Southward in that parallel. About the 10th and 11th Dec. it became sensibly colder and after the warm weather at New Zealand we felt cold with the temperature at 35 degree and began to wear thicker clothing. We now had light but fair winds and very foggy which kept us constantly beating Gongs, firing Musquets and ringing the bell to keep company with the Erebus on the 18th we went in latitude 58 degrees and congratulated ourselves on having made such progress and anticipated such things; in fact what we did last season was to be nothing to it; the next day we fell in with the first Ice consisting of large bergs. We entered Pack Ice at 4 in the morning of the 18th in Latitude 63 degrees which is much to the northward of where we entered it last year in this Latitude then we had a clear sea and heavy gales which stove some of our boats; the weather was now beautiful but cold, the temperature being below freezing point. We were now completely threading the needle amongst the Ice which scraping along the ship's sides kept up a continual noise like distant thunder
The next important event that happened was on the 19th when the Cat presented us with 3 very fine kittens we made a bed of furs for them as the berth for it was very cold for them such an event as that you may think nothing of but to us it was a great day. Ross who was on board the next day
Dec 23rd The Ice became much thicker and heavier (that is in larger masses) so that the navigation became much more difficult and we were obliged to bore (that is pressing the ship through) sometimes we lay alongside pieces of Ice without moving for 1/2 an hour at other times going through channels at first not the breadth of the ship but by making sail regularly force our way through; it would perfectly astonish you to see the immense masses we in this manner force out of the way again at other times we had to shove her along with poles this is very tedious work as well as slow. On the 22nd (the day before) we got soundings with 1700 fathoms or nearly 2 miles and on the 23d we made fast to a floe and watered the ship. While fast we killed a seal of the brown kind caught 3 penguins of a kind unknown and shot several white birds only found in these regions "(Procellaria Nivea)" they are white as the snow itself
On Christmas Day we were in latitude 65 degrees but blocked up by the Ice, just sailing round a pool of water
that day (as is customary) we all dined with the Captain (I hate dinner parties). We drank to "Absent Friends" and as wine revolved in my mind I did not forget my latest one. I wished you and yours many a happy one
I have not spent a Christmas day at home since 1827 when oh! When! Shall I spend another, never shall I see the happy faces that assembled round our board on that day as the Persian [words indecipherable] on that day "Parents and kindred around us, [word indecipherable] we live in our childhood once more
This [words indecipherable] those recollections are enough to bring a tear to the eye but no; I often wish they would it would be a relief but I grow chill "Away now let me [word indecipherable] in my song" or yarn which you please I must bear a tune out of the Old Year. Altho the New One is teeming with the most important events. On the 30th we had got no farther than the Antarctic Circle and the ice was so close and thick that we could not proceed
the weather was thick and foggy and the mist on the rigging froze as it fell and as there was a danger of fouling and losing each other there not being room to work we both made fast to the same piece of ice and of course being only about 50 yards apart there was a great deal of visiting: for we had but to walk across the ice to get to the Erebus so we proposed to see the Old Year out and the New Year in, in style; on the 31st I dined on board the Erebus and after dinner Hooker (the Assistant Surgeon of the Erebus) and myself went on to the Ice and cut in hard snow the figure of a woman which we called our 'Venus di Medici'. She was made sitting down and about 8 feet long and as the snow froze very hard she remained perfect till we left. I assure you it was not badly executed. Altho' I should not say so; of course it was very much critisized-after that we made a room (by cutting down to the solid Ice) and in it built a Table to drink the Old Year out and the New Year in. At a few minutes before 12 you would have been stunned with the noise that we made each ship trying to beat the other; Blowing of horns, Beating of Gongs, Squealing of pigs (for the men took the latter under their arms to make them make a noise) and all kinds of diabolical music and at 12 it was increased by each ship ringing 42 bells which is called "Ringing the New Year in". We then all (I mean the Officers of course) assembled at our aforementioned room on the Ice between the ships where the Captains soon joined us; Capt Ross was in high spirits; shaking hands with everybody and wishing them a happy New Year. We then drank the health of our men (for they were all up, the hands having been turned up to splice the Main Brace or in decent longing to receive a glass of grog) they then cheered him and the same thing was done by Captn Crozier to the Erebus and after some more drinking and cheering we separated for the night or morning
When I speak in this way about drinking you must not imagine Mrs Stephen that there was any excess with all our noise and fun no even had we been so inclined the nature of the duty that might in an instant call all our reasoning faculties forth would have prevented us; no it was purely innocent amusement, men forgetting for a short time all this [word indecipherable] and dangers and acting like a parcel of boys and as the Vicar of Wakefield says "what was wanting in wit was made up in laughter"
On New Years Day I wished you all many happy returns of it
After breakfast we received our "New Years Gift" from the Queen consisting of a jacket, pair trousers, 2 pairs boot hose, 2 comforters, 2 pairs mitts, a Welsh wig, a knife and some thread to each man & officer- the thick boots being reserved for next year
We all dined together in the Gun House and after dinner at about 8 in the Evening we all went to a ball on the Ice, a Ball Room having been previously cut with sofas all round of course all made of snow. Flagstaffs were planted at which the Royal Standard two or three silk Union Jacks (one of which had been planted on the North Magnetic Pole) and other flags were hoisted presenting I assure you a very gay appearance. I must mention the Sign Boards (for it was supposed to be an inn). One was "The Erebus and Terror". The other which was decorated with figures of Bacchus, Britannia etc and rigged on a boathook staff and an Ice axe on one side was printed "The pilgrims of the south" and on the reverse (but I ought not to mention that as it may be rather egotistical but it was copied from the Quarterly Review) "The Pioneers of Science"
On the signal being given (the gun from Erebus) the two captns made their appearance under a rather irregular salute of musquetry from

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from a party of men rigged as a guard of honor. They took their seat on a raised snow sofa and soon after the Ball commenced of course Captn Crozier and Miss Ross opened the Ball with a Quadrille after that we had reels and country dances
Ices and Refreshments were handed round the former in the greatest profusion (The Boatswain of the Erebus performing the part of the host under the title of Mr Boniface) you would have laughed to have seen the whole of us with thick overhaul boots on dancing, waltzing and slipping about and all the fun imaginable going on, Ladies fainting with their cigars in their mouths to cure which gentlemen would politely thrust a piece of Ice down her back but is impossible to give you an idea of the ridiculous scene it was beyond description and the best of it was that there was not an ill word the whole time; all was taken in good part altho' there were some heavy falls and many a sore face form snow balls
no accident occurred to me without I may mention that a Lady burnt my hand with a cigar
In the next room the men were playing "Bell the cat", Bait the Bear and other games; At about one o'clock the Captains left as we first pelted them with snow balls and then cheered them both of which honors they took with equally good humor
After a great deal; of fatigue (for it is hard work dancing in such heavy clothes especially as we made use of a little more exertion than we would at the Governor's Ball) I was glad to get to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning
I afterward did a bit of a picture of the scene which I have been asked to get engraved and insured against loss but Captn Ross' permission must be obtained first however I shall wait till our arrival in England before I decide and then if any of them are worth it I think I shall get some Lithographed, if I do I promise you one of the first copies and mind I never promise without performing I may think longer than other people before I do but I consider a promise ought to be saved when once given, even in trifles
The next day to end the festivities of the season the men had "Racing in Sacks", "Catching a pig with a greased tail", (poor creature) and climbing a greased pole for a reward which created a great deal of fun and amusement
On the 6th we cast off the Ice appearing slack to the Southward; we left a cask on a piece of Ice we left with a paper in it saying where we were etc on that day signed by all of the Officers of both ships
we did not make much progress for we were stopped the next day we might have gone to the Westward but Capn Ross appeared determined to go Eastward as Bellinghausen the Russian navigator was obliged to turn back. We expected land had stopped him but saw none
we caught a large seal here 11ft 4 in length and some enormous Penguins weighing upwards of 70 Pounds but the largest we caught a short time afterwards weighed 79 I think the largest ever caught
on Jany 9th we were on the same spot we were Christmas Day, and as it was blowing hard we had great hopes it would break the Ice up and enabled us to proceed but alas! No we were in despair fearing we should not reach even as far as we did there certainly appeared no prospect of it. We again made fast on the 15th and the Ice was very close and heavy and it was blowing strong from NE so while fast we made sail towards one immense piece we kept striking heavily so much so as to set the Bells ringing. On the 18th in the afternoon the weather became very thick and hazy when at 1/2 past 5 we found ourselves close to a large berg in very dangerous proximity and were obliged to make all sail possible to clear it which we did within a very short distance it was an immense mass and through the mist appeared more so than it really was we were drifting right down on it and there was a heavy swell; the next morning it was blowing very hard. The Erebus carried away two hawsers and lost 2 Ice anchors and we lost one of each this obliged us to cast off, the same day we stove our whale boat which was hanging at the stern a piece of Ice broke her back the Cabin window had a near escape at the same time
on the morning of the 20th it blew a heavy gale there we were in the midst of very heavy Ice with a heavy swell on
the ship at times striking very hard it was very difficult to keep clear of the largest pieces which threatened at time to crush us. We set out one or two small sails now and then to forge her ahead clear of the largest pieces. The sea appeared more like a frightful earthquake than anything else the only clear water being the streak we made now and then in drifting the Ice itself crashed itself together and piled itself up high above our gunwales at times we could not see the Erebus's topmast head the swell was so great altho' she was close to us we expected considerable damage in fact no ordinarily built ships could have stood such a hammering for half an hour it would soon have knocked a hole in her bottom. We were greatly alarmed for our bowsprit but we experienced a greater loss in our Rudder which was broken and rendered useless at 10 in the forenoon a tongue of Ice got under it and completely twisted it round splintering it all the way up tearing the fastenings (which were the size usually supplied to line of battle ships) out of the stern bolts and all, the Erebus also covering the head of hers; here we were then 2 ships unmanageable drifting about at the mercy of the winds in an unknown sea and expecting land to be under our lee and no possibility of helping ourselves
We got our spare rudder up and put it together but could nothing more and we had a doubt then whether it would ship or not
how anxiously did we watch the Barometer for it went lower than we had ever had it with one exception the weather moderated towards evening and the next day the 24th enabled to make fast to a piece of Ice which I assure you we were very glad to do
We immediately examined into the extent of our damages The Erebus's Rudder was soon fixed and we patched up ours by letting in a great deal of new wood and hooping with Ice saws cut up for that purpose so that it would answer in case of an emergency. We shipped our spare one after trying the whole day but it was then only half as secure and about half as strong as the old one
our other damages were not of much consequence both ships lost a great deal of copper which was crumpled up like brown paper a great deal of it about the bows being what is called 80 oz or nearly 3 times the usual thickness. All the steps on the sides were torn off and we carried away a spare topsail yard which protruded a little too far and the sides which were exposed to the rubbing of the Ice appeared as if it had been scraped; Everyone said they had never seen such an awful day, those that had been to the north confessed that they never experienced anything equal to that in those regions, the usual smile had gone from the face of Captain Ross and he looked anxious and careworn
The day after we made fast was Sunday we were obliged to work all day but they had church on board the Erebus and it may give you an idea of what Capn Ross thought of our escape when he read that beautiful prayer of thanksgiving in "The Forms of Prayer to be used at sea" commencing "Oh most mighty and Gracious good God" it was the first time I had ever known it to be read publicly not but what I think it ought to be but then it is policy to keep the men ignorant of your opinion of the extent of the damage
The sketch above may give you a slight idea of our situation and I assure you it is not exaggerated in the slightest. I do not describe these adventures to excite sympathy in you because you are a woman and cannot understand fully the nature of our danger. As the opinions I express as to the extent of danger is not only my own but of these that are far more competent judges but I have a far more dreadful tale to relate to you before I finish but I shall go on regularly but I may tell you now that I have nothing more of the ludicrous so if you go on reading this in search of that you may leave off at once for from that date we have not had many laughing faces
I am now going to jump from water to fire
We cast off on the 27th and made a little southing. On this day we had a great alarm of fire. The weather being very damp and the Lower Deck in consequence being very damp we lighted the apparatus below for warming the ship; about 2 in the afternoon I thought there was more smoke than there ought to be and I went and asked if they had been putting more fuel on and was told that they had not presently after clouds of smoke burst up the hatchway perfectly stifling we knew then that something had taken fire and the tube that only ought to have emitted heat was emitting smoke into all the cabins and got intensely hot so that in the Captain's cabin I could not bear my hand near the aperture however we got the Fire Engine to work and passed water down and poured it down the smoke funnel, we could hardly work the smoke got so dense after about 3 hours hard work we got the fire under and found that a number of plugs supplied for the Pateraroes and which had been stowed in the funnel and all of which we thought to be out had taken fire and caused the alarm it is well we got off so well for the ship is so lumbered with combustible matter that any part of the ship taking fire would be attended with serious results
We made fast again on the 29th and again cast off on the 31st and on the 2nd February to our inexpressible delight we were in clear water out of the pack, we had now been since the 23rd December coming 100 miles, do you not call that perseverance? but the season was now so far advanced that we had little hopes of doing anything; this was in Latitude 68 degrees and last year we had turned back from 78 d on the 11th Feby so we thought we should soon have to turn
here comes a gap in my Journal which is not very satisfactorily filled up owing to an accident I had the evening of the morning we cast off a jug of boiling water by the roll of the ship capsized over the back of my right hand which rendered me as a writer "hors de combat" as it raised a delightful blister it was very painful at first and the cold weather (temperature 20d) did not agree with it, it was a great nuisance
We again fell in with the pack but did not enter it but kept along the edge to the Westward and then to the Southward till we crossed our track of the year before in 77d
on the 20th we had a dreadful gale not from the force of the wind for that is nothing but the spray as it flew over is froze before it touched the deck so that there was not a particle of the ship visible for Ice all our ropes forward carried away from the weight of Ice which formed on them the worst of this kind of weather is that unmanageable state of the ship and the men of the Watch cannot move to warm themselves and when a spray comes over they are literally a moving lump of Ice and that causes colds and Rhuematism; At midnight of that night we saw the Pack right ahead after beating the gear with sticks for 1/2 an hour we managed to get round but the Erebus could not till the

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the third time of trial. We thought Capn Ross would have turned back after that for it was very evident that the winter had set in, but no it became finer and to the southward we steered and on the 23rd at 1/2 past 7 in the evening we arrived at the highest Southern Latitude ever reached having beat ourselves by six miles it was a lovely evening and the last 10 or 12 miles we were sailing through young or pancake Ice that is the Ice of this years growth I have sent you an outline of the Barrier it is wretchedly done but this paper is not fit for etching but you will say "A bad carpenter" & the old Proverb. The Erebus sounded in 290 fms. The Barrier appeared to rise at the back and it was not so high and more irregular than where we made it the year before this time it was 80 to 120 feet last year from 150 to 200
We stood along the barrier to the north and the next day had the Rendevous "Falkland Islands" We kept along the edge of the Pack and on the 26th passed through a great quantity of very yellow young Ice. It had the appearance of a ploughed field- On the 28th in the afternoon we got amongst a great number of bergs at one time we counted 90 from the Crows nest some of them were several miles in extent we found that we had got into a regular bay of them and were obliged to haul to the southward to clear them
just before 9 O'clock the Erebus weathered a large one (which was a great object to weather) at a distance of 1/4 of a mile and we being to Leeward weathered it also but within 30 yards the sea between us and it was like a boiling cauldron and the sea was breaking against it with great fury I hardly breathed while we were passing it, it appeared so close we had the hands on deck ready to tack but I doubt if she would have done so had we tried. They say in the Erebus that it was a very pretty sight but I think far more interesting at a distance than at being present
My hand had got well but broke out again from my working too much with it so I was again laid up- On the 7th March we passed some seaweed and of course there were many conjectures as to where it could have come from. We had a light Aurora two or three nights but nothing equal to what it was last year
We saw no Ice on the 10th, 11th or 12th so we flattered ourselves we were quite clear of it
We had arrived in Latitude 60d and were steering due East for Longitude 125d W a spot marked by Major Sabine as that of Maximum Intensity
and now my dear Mrs Stephen I must pause for a while to actually summon up courage to relate our escape on the morning of the 13th for when I go from one circumstance to another connected with it I shudder and feel sick
I shall first relate the circumstances as they occurred and then if possible describe my own feelings
On the morning of Saturday the 12th the wind was light but it rapidly increased, and by noon it blew very hard the night set in stormy and very dark with thick hazy weather and a heavy sea running. At midnight we passed what was thought to be an Ice Blink (that is a light thrown from large masses of Ice) On Sunday morning it was Moore's watch when he thought he saw an Ice Blink ahead and broad on one of our bows (we were going nearly 8 miles an hour and had just reefed topsails) and we were going to haul up to clear it when the Erebus made the Signal to keep further off and we bore away again closing the Blink rapidly Moor had told the Captain (who was on the deck at the time) and asked to haul up without waiting for the Erebus and we were just going to close at 12.50 when the Erebus must have seen the Ice ahead but not that which was now well on the beam and which she could not have tacked in such a heavy sea and there would not have been room to [word indecipherable] she must have ran right on the Berg, which was now dimly visible with a small darkness which looked like a gap or opening in it
her destruction would have been inevitable but Providence by a dreadful accident averted that calamity and saved her for we were both suddenly hauling to the wind on opposite tacks we came in contact; the Erebus striking the ship heavily on the Starbd bow breaking our anchor right in two taking the whole of [word missing in mss-damaged page] Cat head and part of the anchor away carried away Flying jib and jib booms and lower studding sail boom
Her loss was much greater carrying away the Bowsprit close off to the bows, Foretopmast and the whole of the cat head and anchor
After striking several times very hard she worked further aft she next struck us near the gangway. She then splintered the immense strengthening pieces outside which prevented our being cut down, our Yardarms were now striking every roll which broke all the booms and boom irons which came tumbling down about our ears without hurting anyone, she then (working further aft) struck us abreast the mizzen mast several times very hard which smashed the Quarter boat broke the Ice plank and again shattered our strengthening piece outside and tore off all the iron work we then separated she carrying away our spanker boom "En passant"
All this time we had been bodily drifting on the bergs so that when we cleared the Erebus we found an enormous iceberg close under our lee
a dreadful shipwreck and death then appeared inevitable there was no alternative but to run for the dark place (we had seen before and which might be an opening) or be smashed to pieces on the face of the cliff which was now towering above our heads the helm was immediately put a starboard and with the assistance of the sails she answered it very well; we were immediately rushing past an enormous berg the ship being perfectly covered with the foam caused by the sea breaking against it, every moment expecting the ship to strike
Ice right overhead
Hard a port was literally screamed from forward (then indeed hope died within us) Hard a Port

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Brace round the Head Yards, Shiver the main topsail shouted the Captain as coolly as if he were steaming up the Derwent; the men flew to the ropes altho' I should think at that moment that were was not one on board but what gave himself up for lost -The ship came round and passed through an opening between two bergs not twice the breadth of the ship the foam and spray dashing over on each side several other alarms were given owing to the state of excitement the men were in but we were safe
The next cry was "Where's the Erebus" (our own danger had made us entirely forget her for the time) all eyes were immediately straining through the gloom to find her. We burnt a blue light and soon after had the happiness to see her burn one which we answered we knew then that she was safe. Everyone thought her destruction inevitable and she thought the same of us
We then lay to till daylight anxiously waiting for the signal to know the extent of damage etc as soon as it could be distinguished she made the signal that "All was well and that they could repair all the damages" we answered "Thank God, we are the same"
the diagram in the corner may give you some idea of our situation in which you are to suppose yourself looking down on the Ships decks, the dotted line showing the passage they made through the water and the strokes across the way the yards were braced the next will explain itself but you must follow the black for the Erebus and the red for the Terror -

[drawing]
Ice berg 200 feet high
Ice berg 120 feet
Direction of the wind

escape of the Erebus & Terror, in the Ice by E.J. Davis
Feb. 1842

I must now if possible describe my own proceedings and feelings during that eventful hour for it was not more than that time from our first getting foul to the time we were safe
I was in bed and on the sick list with a bad hand I could not sleep for I did not like running in such thick weather so I lay listening to what was going on I knew something must be wrong from the constant commands given to the helmsman at last someone regularly screamed out down the Forehatchway "All hands bear a hand on deck everyone" and immediately after came a crash "Great God" cried I "we are foul of an iceberg" I hurriedly put on 2 or 3 articles of dress and jumped up the hatchway expecting to see the cliff face of an iceberg over our heads instead of which just abreast the gangway were the bows of the Erebus on top of a sea with her copper far above our gunwale and her Foretopmast and Bowsprit gone, down she came crash! With a shock that nearly knocked me down, our men had rushed up half naked and were perfectly bewildered however nothing could be done more than we had which was to set the Foresail and brace the head yards up
Crash
Crash again and again as she worked further aft
I had gone aft by the mizzen mast under the ice plank for protection from falling spars we expected every moment to see her bowsprit go but happily it had an extra stay which held- Up she went "stand clear the ice plank" cried a dozen voices down she came crash went the ice plank at the same time the boat was cut in two as if with an immense hatchet " Thank God she is clear" cried I as she passed under our stern after a very heavy shock snapping our spanker boom in two as if it had been a straw; but my joy was of but short continuance for no sooner were we clear of her when we had this immense berg under our bow and so close that already we appeared to be in the foam
my thoughts from the this time till we were through the passage were agonising I do not allow myself to be (turn to the crossing of the top third of the sheet of the 1st page)

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[Cross hatched text]

a craven or a coward. I have often been in danger and perhaps have had more than my share of them but never till those moments did I in reality know what fear was and what were my fears? My dear Mrs S I was afraid to die, I was afraid to stand before a severe tho' merciful and just God; what would I not have given at that time or a single day to prepare myself for such an awful change ?
What thoughts passed in rapid succession through my brain
The events of a life passed in review before me in a few moments. What saw I there? Absolutely nothing that could lead me to hope for mercy
I thought too of my poor Mother that she should lose a second son and not one to bear the tale of years of suspense and hope she could be in; in the end to be disappointed
I thought of all these things but the occurrences themselves took much less time than it has taken me to write them. I wonder now that I did not lose my self possession but no, perhaps it was from example that I did not but I repeated the orders and got what was necessary done more coolly in appearance than what I felt
The Captain himself when it was all over said that he had not the slightest idea at the time what he did or how we got through. The men on the whole behaved very well throughout only one was running about out of his senses but two on three were crying it was truly a time "When shrieked out the timid and stood still the brave" I looked round me when the first blue light was burned and to see the ghastly appearance of the men's faces on which horror and despair were pictured the half naked forms of the men thrown out by the strong light Oh! It was truly horrible that time will never be effaced from my memory
After daylight and we had signaled to the Erebus I retired to my cabin and offered up some thanks to the throne of the Almighty for the reprieve granted to me to prepare myself for the change I was by no means fit to undergo
Mrs Stephen I have not been writing the words of a novel for I wrote these remarks principally while I experienced the feelings I may be wrong in imparting those feelings to others and perhaps it would be better for me to act according to them without letting anyone know it or the effect it had on me but I do to you because I think you will estimate them as I wish and understand my meaning I cannot attempt any pen & ink sketches of that night for it would be impossible to give the effect of the intense darkness etc You may imagine the force with which we struck when I tell you that the Erebus' anchor was driven into her side 13 inches and she carried it that way 700 miles when it broke of leaving 15 inches of iron
Her gunwale was cut down to the deck and all her bolts about the bows started they described it all much in the same way I have. They say the blow at parting as being tremendous we then appeared to bound forward to which they thought certain destruction they after parting were obliged to throw all aback their head yards were useless owing to the wreck of the foretopmast being over the Foreyard the ship went astern the sea breaking clean over them when fortunately they backed close to the opening and then bringing round their yards shot through
Of course there are now a great many ifs but I believe they all agree that if we had not run foul of each other we must have been wrecked. It is now talked and laughed over as a common occurrence the only time before the ships were so close was to give a Ball at dear Hobarton a slight difference the last meeting
For a long time after that accident none of us could sleep at night I used to watch my ball eye and directly I saw it was daylight I could sleep
We had no more accidents till we got off Cape Horn which was on 2nd April when a man fell from the Main Yard of the Erebus and altho' he got on the life buoy he was drowned he struck on the gunwale as he fell so I suppose he hurt himself so much that he could not hold on we saw the poor fellow on it but it was blowing hard and a heavy sea running and I doubt if he could be picked up; certainly not without the risk of 8 or ten more.
We arrived here on the 6th having been 135 days at sea and 133 without seeing any land but to our mortification and disappointment on our arrival there were no letters or anything at all waiting for us but we received good news by a Navy List which the Governor has in which we found two promotions for each ship our Captain was one and I was not but I do not expect it till the ship is paid off
We are living on the fat of the land here Beef, Geese, Rabbits, sheep etc and all for nothing but alas we have not a bit of vegetable or substitute for it nothing to be got here in that way no bread or milk and our own biscuit is sour and Tea bad but now I must tell you and I hope in some way you will let them know of it that Messrs Peek and Campbell of Sydney Grocers etc treated us shamefully they shewed as good articles in this shop and packed us up bad he served all the scum it was not from filthy damp or any other cause of ours that they were spoilt but on opening many articles were useless but sailors are always cheated but we feel it when money cannot procure others if I had my will I would make an "Olla" (such as this letter is a mixture of good and bad) of all the things they supplied us with and I would make Messrs Peek and Campbell and all their upstarts eat it for being rascals that would cure them I know if they thought we would have gone back again they would not have served us in that way I know but "experience docit" I hope Robert will tell them that I have heard many wish them in a [word indecipherable] berth than they are now in
I hope you will be able to decypher this horrible scrawl but I think I may safely promise you that I will never bother you with such a long one again-Pray let Robert read this and My Dear Robert you must take the will for the time and read this as if directed to you I know it is not a compliment to either of you but indeed I cannot write all this long yarn again for even now I am obliged to sit up at night to write for all day I am Drawing charts to be sent to England and Captain Ross is very anxious to get them away the first opportunity
I shall write to you my dear Mrs S from the Cape (where we shall not be till this time twelve months) and let you know, when I shall be in England and then you and Mrs Shadforth must send to me for anything you want and I promise you it shall be done faithfully do not be alarmed as to payment for I shall have a whole lot of spare money and it will only be one way of sending it out but you must be very exact in your descriptions and limit the expense and you may send patterns and everything shall be done as well as economically as if you were there yourself for if I cannot manage all myself my sister I am sure will be happy to oblige anyone that has shown kindness to her brother
I know in many things there is such a difference of Price & Quality that it would be worth while to send home for them, Books, Clothing especially. Boys in fact using articles so do not be afraid of giving me a little trouble for I can see them safely shipped in good condition and I can charge you all expenses in the account I send with them
and now Mrs S I think I have fulfilled my promise of writing a long letter but I am afraid a very uninteresting one but "Necessities" etc you know the rest
Remember me kindly to Colonel & Mrs Shadforth to your brother at Mulgoa when you write (perhaps he would like to overhaul this yarn) and tell him I hope some day to be able to pay him a visit in his retreat I hope Mrs Stephen/Grandmam I mean) got her cap safe I know I did not wear it
Also remember me to Bob and young Alfred & the two pretty little girls
Love to Sophia and remembrances to Frank Chewley the former will turn out a choir fellow yet only do not bother him too much I rather like to see a boy of his age still show out better in the end. Those geniuses that can spout my name is Norval as soon a they can lisp and learn Greek before they understand English are not the lads that make good scholars the fact of making them do that does more harm than good, but I am not writing an Essay on Education so wishing you all, all the happiness this transitory world is capable of affording you I remain
Your new tho sincere friend
J E Davis

[Transcribed by Stephen Martin for the State Library of New South Wales]